Whatever happens, no matter how much
we are stuck, we Americans always find a way out.
It is called Yankee ingenuity.
The fridge is on the blink? Let the French drink warm
wine - we just get some ice at the supermarket.
The water heater is on the blink? Let the Germans take
cold showers - we get the duck tape out. The car is leaking
gas? Aye, there's the rub - what do we do now? And that
is exactly where I found myself on Independence Day.
Actually, it wasn't just me. We all stood around the
car smelling the fumes: my stepdaughter who's an engineer;
my stepson-in-law who's an engineer, myself who's - never
mind, you get the picture.
Come to think of it, the only non-engineer present was
our dog who never got her degree. You'd think with that
much talent, the problem would be solved in no time: a
nip here, a tuck there, and Bob's your uncle, as the Brits
say. Not so; Bob was not our uncle, not by a long shot.
I will spare you the whole sorry prologue of colorful
but specious hypotheses. Let me just cut to the heart
of the matter. On the final vote we decided unanimously,
with the dog abstaining, that:
1. The filler hose was cracked.
2. The tank was seriously overfilled, thus sloshing gas
back into the hose.
3. We therefore ought to siphon out a lot of gas.
I found an old siphon in the garage, and we were just
about to start, when it dawned on us that we had nothing
to put the gas in. However, with typical Yankee ingenuity,
we located a citizen whose car needed fuel, and we started
again.
Now two problems arose simultaneously, one bad and one
good. The bad news was that the car was almost siphon-proof;
it was nearly impossible to get a hose down the tank.
The good news was that it didn't matter; the siphon didn't
work anyway as its valves had decayed years ago.
Now, a foreign person might have given up at this point,
but Americans relish such challenges. We drew lots as
to who of us should suck the gas down the valve-less siphon
to get it working. Well, it worked up to a point, or rather
down to a point, namely the lowest point of the hose hanging
between the two cars. A lively discussion now ensued concerning
the principles of hydraulics but nothing really useful
came to mind.
So finally we gave up and called a service station. Sure,
Yankee ingenuity had failed, but only after superhuman
efforts. We did not really feel defeated. Even the dog
walked proudly.
Adrian Korpel is a retired engineering professor.
His column appears the third Saturday of every month.
